Complex and Developmental Trauma
“You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf.”
- Jon Kabat Zinn
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) defines complex developmental trauma as “children’s exposure to multiple traumatic events—often of an invasive, interpersonal nature—and the wide-ranging, long-term effects of this exposure.”[1]
Childhood trauma is a series of experiences that are accumulated over time, and untangling them can feel overwhelming. It doesn’t have to involve physical abuse or be one big recognizable event; repeated instances of emotional neglect can be just as harmful. In fact, complex trauma (C-PTSD) often has emotional neglect at its core.
Neglect is what didn’t happen; what you should have had but didn’t get as a child. Emotional neglect occurs when parents don’t acknowledge, respond to, or validate their child’s feelings often enough. Repeatedly not being listened to by your parents, being told “if you don’t stop crying, I will give you something to cry about” or being teased for expressing your emotions can all take a toll.
A child growing up in this environment, even if their parents provide for their physical needs and mean well, has no room for emotions. This child might have a hard time identifying, understanding and expressing their feelings. These difficulties can last into adulthood.
Our childhood traumatic experiences continue to affect how we feel about ourselves when we become adults. Adults who experienced childhood emotional neglect often feel empty, unimportant, different, and unfulfilled in life. This affects how we build relationships with other people, and how we handle conflict and stressful situations.
Together, we will work to understand how your past experiences are impacting your current reality. We will chart a path forward towards something healthier, more balanced and whole, so that you will feel more comfortable setting necessary boundaries with difficult people and living authentically.
You may be struggling with:
- Depression that keeps coming back, even after you’ve sought treatment
- Feelings of irritability, anger and frustration that you can’t get rid of.
- Feeling like your emotions are all over the place.
- Feeling unworthy, guilty, or not good enough.
- The same relationship problems coming back time and again.
- The challenges and overwhelm that come with caring for children or older parents or having a high stress job.
- The impact of the parenting you received in your early life in which you experienced emotional neglect or abuse from emotionally immature parents, that continues to impact you in ways you may not even fully realize.
I work with:
- Adults and college age individuals
- Parents and caregivers
- People experiencing recurring and persistent depression
- People experiencing emotional dysregulation
- Those in challenging relationships with difficult people
- Professionals who deal with intense, career-related stress
